Hello Charlotte!

January 6, 2016January 6, 2016 | mattkarr

Woops! It seems that I may have bitten off more than I could chew in May, pushing myself to share a series of NYC memories for each of my last days in Brooklyn, while also planning a wedding, and preparing a semi-cross country move (hey it was over 10 hrs), all while closing things out with the company you had worked for over the last 3 years and saying goodbye to all my dear friends. I mean, I got to day 8, which is a pretty decent run for me! One day I’m sure I’ll go back and fill in the rest.

And so we (I) move forward. 2016 has officially kicked off and I’m already feeling good vibes about the upcoming year. We’ve been living in Charlotte, North Carolina for about seven months and married for about seven months and 5 days. The Queen City is everything that we had hoped it would be. Access to theater, dog friendly activities, space, windows, a dishwasher are all top of our favorites. Of course it is no New York, nothing will ever be New York, but I can tell you that I have never seen cleaner streets before.

Moving to Southend as the daily temperature reached 100 degrees for 3 months straight, we had no choice but to head outside, hiking at Lake Norman (Trixie was the most out of shape) and attending the Cultural Feast in Uptown. Over the holidays we had our family down which gave us the opportunity to show them the city. New Years Day, our best man came into town and we got to show him an entirely different side of the city. From Discovery Place with our nephew one day to the Bar at 316 for a drag show (not with our nephew) the next, we offer tours of all varieties to our guests. With time off work, it was great to get to spend some solid quality time together. We also all slept in our 1br apartment. Charlie-and-the-Chocolate-factory family style. Sort of looked like this:

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory — CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, directed by Sam Mendes – Theatre Royal – See the whole article: https://www.psychologies.co.uk/mother%E2%80%99s-day-what-charlie-and-chocolate-factory-taught-me

Now its just back to us and we are hunkering down for the “rough” winter ahead. I mean, at some point they are going to have to close the pool, right? If you ask me, not that you did, I would say yesterday was the first official day of winter. The combination of clear blue skies, freezing temperatures, and unpredictable and brisk gusts of wind are a clear sign that Im going to get more use out of my sweaters than I had thought when we moved south. Fine by me, I just finally attained a semi decent collection!

If you are in Charlotte this weekend and looking for some fun, check out the brand new REID’S located outside of South Park Mall. They are having their Grand Opening and celebrating with a free oyster roast and samplings of their amazing brews and wines.

Wherever you may be, I hope you are protected from the cold, laughing constantly, and looking into 2016 with excitement.

Live for Fun, Spread Joy!

Trixie’s Winter Ensemble: Do’s and Don’ts

March 9, 2015March 10, 2015 | mattkarr

Is it here?! Has spring really popped its head out from whatever hole it has been hibernating in for the last few months? Yesterdays “heat wave”, a balmy 48 degrees, brought out the best in everyone’s mood, even after we lost an hour of sleep as our body’s adjusted to daylight savings time. Soon we will be reaching in our closets for our spring and summer ensembles, but first it would do us much justice to look back at the outfits that really set a fashion trend this winter.

While NYC fashion week has come and gone, the most important collection of the season did not walk down any runway, but instead down the avenues of Lafayette and DeKalb. Of course I’m talking about the stylings of Trixie Lou, fashion trend setter and 9yo Black Lab.

After a grueling winter last year armed only with a coat, Trixie was determined not to be caught with exposed paws again (how scandalous!) this season. Her coat that she had been gifted years before was barely enough to cover he belly (not because of fat she insists, but because of “severe design flaw” with its Velcro flaps). Whatever enthusiasm people save from picking up litter in the streets, they save for spreading salt on the sidewalks, a welcomed task, but brutal on the tender feet of our beloved four legged friends. And this was not just regular salt, but heavy duty, sometimes actual pea gravel sized salt, and it was causing hell on her manicure.

So what’s a girl to do? First thing was first: Boots. A trip to Petco and her loyal owner scooped her up a pair for stylish (but not too flashy as to keep a low profile on the streets) pair of dog boots that had a solid rubber sole and elastic sock-like sides. Securing with two velcro straps these would surely keep her pedi-paws dry and salt free.

Petco Dog Boots — Orig. $29.99, now on sale (shocking)

From the look of them, they would be perfect, but once they were headed toward her feet she knew that this would not be a cinderella story. There were three main problems with the design of this boot. 1) They were difficult to put on. Essentially the boot is one large sock, and Trixie has much too busy of a schedule to take 10 minutes to get her boots on and that damn Carpal Pad kept getting in the way. Many times her paw wouldn’t even slide in all the way. 2) The velcro was study until it became loose, and if any snow got onto the strips, they would not re-secure. Once they got snow on them, they were done for that walk. And 3) they didn’t stay on. If you were able to get them on, and the velcro stayed secure AND didn’t get snow in them, than they would simply fall off as she maneuvered through snow and pathways. Walks started with all four feet securely inside and she was lucky to have one on by the end.

So the search continued. Never one to get discouraged, Trixie looked at the first pair and thought “what would make these better?”

“First”, she thought, “a zipper would help with the process of getting my feet into the bottom of the boot. also if the boot was shorter, perhaps that would help with agility, and keep them from coming off so easily.” She had her gullible owner do hours and hours of research on her behalf since she lacked the thumbs for Google searching and he stumbled upon a pair from a website called ______________* where she immediately saw a pair that she liked.

lifeful-dog-rainy-season-durable-highly-water-proof-nonslip-outdoor-shoes-hemmed-by-superfine-fiber-synthetic-leather-triple-closure-by-plastic-snap-hook-adjustable-elastic-velcro-strap-and-fron_159356-2 — Cost: $36.00 — Points for style

A triple threat! Zipper front from the toe to the top, velcro security in the middle and a pull string at the top. There was no way that these suckers could come off! Or so she thought. It turned out to be true that these were much easier to put on and to secure. The velcro was even much better and would re-secure even after getting snow on them, but even with those improvements, the buggers would not stay on. Many walks started with four and ended with one, or even none. Now her still gullible but slightly more agitated owner was left with the responsibility to pick up her clothing AND her unmentionable deposits as they walked each time. In weather down into the single digits, that last thing someone wants to do is crouch down and try to put a boot back on while bundled up in their own winter protective gear with an energetic dog desperate to play in the snow. After a few tries to guarantee it was not human error, it was clear that these boots, although much more impressive looking and fashionable, were no better than their Plain-Jane predecessors. and with winter nearing an end and warm weather on the horizon, she decided to cut her losses and move on…barefoot. She could have stuck with them since some protection was better than no protection right? I think the girls on 16 and Pregnant would beg to differ.

However, this season was not a complete disappointment when it came to Trixie’s fashion risks. True love came in the form a new coat. But not just any new coat. A TARTAN coat, a true homage to her beloved owner. This coat was superior to its predecessor in many ways. Higher neck to protect from rain and snow, full stomach coverage to reduce undercarriage soakage, and even little straps to go around her hind legs to keep the back from blowing up in strong winds (If this girl is going to flash, she needs to be paid).

Trixie and her coat in action and on the hunt! No Paparazzi please!

And so the season closes, bootless but with a great new formal coat hanging in her closet. Will she give up on boots all together? Only time will tell, but she hopes that her story will help other dogs out there when making their decision on what fashion they choose to rock. Sometimes, function trumps fashion. Not always, but sometimes.

Trixie wants to make one last point:

“Just remember, whatever you decide to wear, make sure the first thing you put on is your confidence, then it doesn’t matter if you are one boot short of a college walk of shame, ain’t nobody gonna hold you down. Now get out there and play in that snow! DIBS ON THE YELLOW STUFF!”

Live for fun, Spread Joy, Look Fabulous!

*The name of this site has been censored so that you do not purchase from them as they have terrible customer service and even worse return policies. OK, it was Baxterboo.com

The Countdown Begins!

February 27, 2015February 27, 2015 | mattkarr

It’s come to my attention that my world is full of countdowns, but this is hardly new. Events were anticipated by the number of years, months, weeks, minutes, milliseconds until they would happen. I would even use singular events as a way of counting down time. For example, at the end of the school year I would think to myself “the next time I have to step foot in this school I will have gone on vacation, competed in nationals (more to come on that in later posts I’m sure), enjoyed the neighbors pool, and built that fort in my backyard”. The thing about being a kid is that our years are divided into two parts: the school year and summer vacation, which seemed to make the entire year feel longer. To me, “New Years” was in September, and not something to celebrate. As an adult, my years have slowly started to become a 365 day cycle that begins with and ends with the calendar year. Each year after graduating, it got easier and easier to think outside the school calendar year. Now, six years later, the only hint of the education season comes via social media, when a flurry of graduation photos and announcements cover the entire month of May, or in the Fall, when dozens of “Sally’s first day of school” photos once again clog up my feed.

My year, and life, has become one giant countdown to an unknown end (and one that is hopefully not anytime soon). It’s only now, that I can truly appreciate and therefor take for granted how quickly time passes. It is only with the changing of seasons that trigger me to look back and think “Where in the hell did time go?” Seriously, I don’t know how my friends in Los Angeles do it. Do they think they are still living in 2008 because the weather never indicates the passing of time?

So here I sit, considering what countdowns I currently have ticking down in my head…..

Countdown to Summer

More specifically summer Fridays. That phenomenon in adult life where companies allow their employees to leave early each Friday between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Nothing is more liberating than that feeling of stealing your freedom back even if it’s only an hour. Since I no longer receive the gift of having 3 months off for summer vacation, I’ve got to take these victories as they come, no matter how small.

I’m ready for the warm weather that summer will bring. This winter has been a bear. I know that people complained last year about the amount of snow we received here in NYC, but at least with snow (which admittedly I love because I don’t have to drive in it), the chances of my office being closed dramatically increased. This winter, the snow seemed to have been rerouted and dumped right onto Boston, only delivering us New Yorkers with winds rivaling Chicago and no cancelled office days. I grew up in Michigan. I know lake effect all too well, so when anyone in NY complained about the cold, I always responded “It’s worse in Chicago!” This year, we were the new Chicago with the windchill regularly at or below zero, making treks to and from work have been nothing short of painful.

89 Days

Lent

This year I made the conscience decision to use the set dates of Lent to remove a few things from my life temporarily. Not things I don’t like, but things I do. As a kid, I saw my father gave up one of his favorite things each year during Lent. First it started off with Ice Cream, something he enjoyed on a regular basis. Then he gave up watching television so he could read more. He then expanded out to giving things up for a full year. I was always so fascinated and confused why someone would give up something that they actually liked.

So that was my challenge this year, but what would I decide to give up and what else would I focus on instead? First out of the gate, I was going to be sober. Now, being a Michigan State kid, my drinking habits have not only been perfected, but have changed casually since I graduated. Long gone was the cheap burnetts vodka (mostly because it’s not available in NYC) and I had moved on to the socially acceptable wine and whiskey affection. Drinking socially is part of the lifestyle of NYC and part of the lifestyle of Matthew S. Karr. Killing time before a show, at the beach (shhhh), after a long day of work, and while attending BBQs were just the tip of the iceberg for reasons to drink, and drink I did. A few glasses of wine here, a couple cocktails there, and suddenly its 5:30 and time to leave the office (I kid I kid), but could I go without it? I knew (or convinced myself) that I did not have a drinking problem, but it wasn’t because of my consumption that I wanted to ditch Grandpas cough medicine. I wanted to test my will power and see if I could, say, go out with a friend for their birthday at a bar and not drink. I also wanted to see what effect it would have on my body. When I realized I the majority of my soda consumption was fast food and beverage mixers, I threw it onto the list of “give ups” as well.

Also with my sobriety, I have given up any sort of body/mind altering substances from Motrin to meth. One of those may be harder for me to give up than the other. Hint: IT’S NOT METH (I watched breaking bad and value my teeth and skin far too much)

Next I decided to take a lesson from my Pops and decided to give up television (good thing I finished Breaking Bad). Now, I love television, so its no surprise that only a week into this challenge it’s killing me to not know whats happened on Scandal or to be able to dive into the new season of House Of Cards, but I noticed that I was following a similar daily pattern: Come home from work, cook dinner and catch up with Tom, eat the prepared dinner, and watch TV. Hours later, besides eating, I had accomplished very little, watched hours of television, and then headed to be later than I should. What could I do with that time instead if I were to use it differently? Perhaps I could clean up my apartment. Maybe start that t-shirt quilt project I had stacked in my closet for the last 6-mos. Even ramp up the start of this blog! The options are endless and with one book done and already into the next, I feel like I’m off to a great start.

34 Days

Wedding

I’m getting Married y’all!! There are few events in our lives that are as monumental as one’s wedding. For a long time in my life, I believed that marriage would not be in the cards for me. First, most if not all of my adolescence was spent scared and ashamed at the idea of being gay. I was always a lover of love, growing up with parents who were still together, and watching my siblings, one after the other, marry their amazing companions. When I finally came out of the closet, I still doubted that I would ever be married. Everywhere I turned I saw states like my own voting to keep marriage between one man and one woman, subsequently making me a second class citizen. At the time I didn’t understand the gravity of it, because, after all, I had no marriage prospects on the horizon. I had had only one boyfriend and when that relationship ended as our lives drifted further and further apart (geographically), I saw no one else who I could tolerate for more than a month, let alone a lifetime. Not to mention, you should probably have more than a tolerance for the person you choose to marry, so I continued in my personal journey alone, which led me next to New York City.

New York was the land of opportunity in more ways than one. The state honored marriage equality and legitimized me and those who had been ostracized from their home states. The true melting pot of America, NY was full of opportunity, hope, and a whole lot of homosexuals looking for happiness! I figured it would be only a short amount of time before I found my Mr. Right. Tick tock, the countdown had begun!

Well, it turns out that I was actually Mr. Wrong. Love did not come easily and I was finding it difficult to find guys that even had a sliver of the qualities I knew I was looking for in a partner. Was I too picky? Were my expectations too high? *TICK* *TOCK* On thing I did have on my side was patience. Countdowns to me were not about the time crunch, but more about the anticipation. I wasn’t desperate to find a boyfriend. I took my time and enjoyed each person that I met but had no romantic connection with. My guy was out there, and I just had to have faith that we would find each other…….eventually.

And then I did. As if almost effortlessly, Tommy came into my life. What started as a casual date, quickly grew into something more, and before I knew it, I was in love. Now after 2.5 years together, we are in the final stages of planning our wedding. Our legal, state recognized wedding that will be attended by our friends and family from a variety of era’s of our lives. Here, in the neighborhood in Brooklyn that we call home with our Brady Bunch style family that includes our cats Pinter and Zoey, and our dog Trixie, we will become government recognized partners in life. Husbands.

85 Days

It will be difficult to stop compartmentalizing my life into various countdowns, but what I need to do is make sure I’m taking the time to enjoy every single moment and not take a single one for granted, recognizing that every 24hrs is a countdown to the end of a day that we will not be able to relive again.

We should stop counting down, but instead, continually add up the moments that we love, live, and laugh together.

Live for Fun, and Spread Joy!