Personal Gift Registry?

January 7, 2016 | mattkarr

I find great joy in giving gifts to people. I actually like giving gifts more than receiving them. In these busy days of email and emoticons, unless it is a gathering with the word “shower” in it, people have given up the art of gift giving. It may just be my experience though. I think in New York because everyone is busy, and we’re all poor and working 24/7, it seems to have become some sort of unofficial silent agreement that because life is hard for all of us, showing up to a place is the most I could ever ask from you. Just getting any amount of people over 2, together in one spot, and at one time, can be a tremendous feat.

So let me start to get to the point (something I attempt to do multiples times, in the same conversation, on a regular basis). When I got engaged, one of the more traditional aspects of our wedding was that we created a couple of gift registries at all the true royalty of the MidWest wedding world: Bed Bath and Beyond, Macy’s, and (our only modern twist) Amazon.com. At first I was opposed to having a registry because I felt uncomfortable asking people to buy me things and implying that they should. Sometimes very expensive things. 75% of our wedding attendants came from out of town and were dropping some major cheddar to be in New York to celebrate with us. I wasn’t going to throw a $300 Roomba to use in my 250 sq. ft. apartment on top as an obligation (although in full disclosure, we did have one on our registry. You know, as a group gift option!).

My opinion started to change one day while sitting out on the balcony (hers, not ours) with our dear friend Robyn. We were discussing the pros and cons of having a registry and I was laying out a defense stronger than a corset at The Met, when she simply said (*paraphrasing*) “If you don’t know what to get someone, you turn to their registry”. As she always does, Robyn had made a simple idea make sense to a knucklehead like myself and it snapped into my perspective: The only thing I disliked more than asking for gifts, is know that I’m potentially adding stress and anxiety to any person who may want to purchase me a gift. We had two registries set up by the stroke of midnight.

A few weeks later, Tommy and I had just completed a weekend of dog sitting when a package from Amazon arrived at my office. Inside was the amazing (and totally on our registry) 2 piece stone wear set from the Rachel Ray collection. Inside the note said (*paraphrasing*) “Thank you for taking such great care of Zooey!” Our friend Carrie had purchased something off our wedding registry to thank us for watching her dog Zooey.

Carrie didn’t know that I wanted these Bubble and Brown, 1.25 quart and 2.25 quart baking dishes in dark blue because I told her while we grabbed a long lunch at Chipotle on 28th st. She knew only because of this magic list I put out into the atmosphere that people could just gift me with. I thought of all the times I have caught myself not knowing what to get someone for Christmas or their birthday. What do they want? What do they need? Half the time, its a friend of a friend that I know from hanging out at the same apartment all summer and you don’t even know their last name. How am I going to know what is an appropriate gift to give when I don’t even know which borough you live in? If everyone had their own personal registry, we could save ourselves the stress and anxiety and start giving gifts for any and all occasions with ease. You threw a dinner party and I saw you want a spiral slicer? Bam! Here’s that spiral slicer. You took better care of my plants while I was out of town than I do when I’m home? Bam! Here’s those inspirational hand towels for your kitchen. Bam. Bam! BAM! Give the people what they want!

And so now I have come to my point (I promised we’d get here eventually): Maybe it is a great idea for all of us to have our own personal gift registry. The proper subtitle could be “It’s not selfish, it’s helpful!”

Live For Fun, Spread Joy, Give Gifts (and write letters!)

PS. Those dishes come in handy…a lot!

30 DAYS OF NYC MEMORIES – DAY 7: BROADWAY IN THE STREETS

May 6, 2015 | mattkarr

After a long summer in the city, the heat begins to subside and Broadway artists emerge from their dark ice cold theatres to gather smack dab in the middle of Times Square to give a free concert to the public. Thousands of people fill into the crossroads of the world (can we still call it that since half of it is a pedestrian zone now?) to listen to some of the best Broadway Theatre has to currently offer, preview new shows coming to the Great White Way, and see some “Broadway-friendly” celebrities.

I find something magical about the concept of taking typically indoor events and putting them outside, surrounded by the sights and sound of the city you live in. Watching a Broadway show in a theatre gives you that controlled environment that theatre requires, but singing along to New York New York in the middle of Times Square? Priceless!

Each year The Broadway League would host Broadway on Broadway. Although the discontinued the event in 2013, I hope that they will bring it back soon, as it is one of the best opportunities to bring Broadway entertainment direct to the street of NYC. I went with Tommy and Kim, Tommy getting VIP access to sit on the famous Red Steps of Times Square.

Amazing weather, amazing entertainment, and amazing friends = Good Life in NYC

Live for Fun, Spread Joy, Get Outside!

30 DAYS OF NYC MEMORIES – DAY 6: CINCO DE MAYO ON WALL STREET

May 5, 2015 | mattkarr

After finishing an out of town gig, I found myself back in NYC, unemployed and desperate to find work, hitting up every temp agency in NYC I could take a typing test for. Finally, one of the companies came though and landed me a temp gig at the New York Stock Exchange.

I was hired at the Exchange to spend 6 weeks doing data entry. It was life’s purpose at that time to take all of the product orders for companies that NYSE had purchased and have them entered into their unique billing. I can’t remember just how many legal pages of entries it was, but it was enough that when I finished the assignment in 2.5 days instead of 6 weeks, the big bosses took immediate notice of this lowly “temp”.

Suffice to say, they enjoyed having me around and my ability to complete tasks quickly, so they extended me past 6 weeks. Then again to 3 mos, and before I knew it, I had been there an entire year.

The Stock Exchange is a cool place to work. The work I was doing may not have been the most flashy, but the happenings day in and day out in that historic building were fascinating and entertaining! Each day would bring in a different company that was going public, or a celebrity promoting a new movie. I can’t even count the amount of free food, promotional gifts, and special events that happened over my time there. For example, one day there was a live fashion show, and the next a Cinco De Mayo party. You heard that right, Cinco De Mayo!

When it comes to parties, the best thing you can do is have good sponsors, or in the case of NYSE, good clients. When a holiday like the 5th of May rolls around, the true professionals step forward. Corona came in and threw a huge celebration for the entire company. Corona and Corona Light, Chips and Salsa, Guacamole, and live music were all supplied for the festivities along with some cool swag (Corona Maracas anyone?).I enjoyed between 1 and 5 Coronas (ok it was 5), at my work, for free. #GreatDay

Live For Fun, Spread Joy, Enjoy the Perks of Work!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

30 Days of NYC Memories – Day 1: Roof Top Parties

April 30, 2015April 30, 2015 | mattkarr

30 days from today will be my last day in NYC. It has been a roller coaster of sheer craziness and awesomeness over these last seven years, and showing up in the city in August of 2008, I could not have been prepared for the experiences that I would accumulate. The people I have met, the jobs that I’ve worked, and the activities that I’ve done will stay with me forever.

The next month will quite possibly be the busiest of my life. Even before I get in that moving truck and head south, I’ll be wrapping up and leaving the job I have known for the last 3 years, officially starting my 31st year of life on this earth, and, most excitedly, getting married to the man who stole my heart (call the cops!).

But before I go, I’m going to take each day and share a photo and memory of my time in this one-of-a-kind city.

Memories: ROOF TOP PARTIES

Only in New York could climbing up 5+ flights of stairs to access a rooftop be considered a privilege but with limited apartment space, no backyard, and and sometimes killer views, many parties ended (and started) high above the streets. The first month I lived in NYC we threw a birthday part for our roommates and hauled a full keg up to the roof. The party epic and the friends new, it set off what would be a wild ride and many rooftop gatherings over the years to come.

MAtt Amory Roof Top Party — Rooftop Party with Matt and Amory

Carrie Rooftop Bday — Carries B-Day Celebration in Chelsea

Matt and Bridget Roof Time — Brdget and Matt have a rooftop heart to heart

Live for Fun, Spread Joy, Party (safely!) on Rooftops!

Hop on the Twentieth Century!

March 1, 2015 | mattkarr

One of the great things about NYC is its direct access to theatre. With offerings on Broadway, Off-Broadway, Off-Off-Broadway, Adjacent to Broadway, Under Broadway, Step-Brother to Broadway etc. you can find shows of every different style or topic that one could imagine. I’ve sat through enough theatre history classes that I won’t drag down this blog with the origin and history of performance art. Let just say that it has been around pretty much forever and these days, shows are larger and more impressive than ever before.

This past Thursday, Tommy and I attended a preview of the new Broadway show On The Twentieth Century produced by Roundabout Theatre Company and performed at the American Airlines Theatre on 42nd street. For those of you less hip to theatre language, previews are the performances that are full runs of the show in front of paying audiences leading up to opening night, usually lasting just a few weeks. In the case of Spiderman the Musical, they are STILL in previews and the show closed over a year ago.

FullSizeRender — Can’t beat that price for a Broadway show!

We arrived at the theatre to pick up our tickets following a quick dinner at our go-to pre-theatre stop Schnippers. As I approached the window, the friendly box office associate listened as I told her my name and responded “Did you get the email that Peter Gallagher will not be performing tonight?” “No,” I replied, suddenly disappointed but not surprised. It had been reported on Playbill.com that he was fighting a bad sinus infection during the week, but he had been slated to return that evening. “That’s too bad,” I said as she slid my tickets under the glass partition while I wondered what had happened to my email notification, as if the knowledge would have given me an alternative option. Well, we would not be seeing Sandy Cohen (little OC reference for you) this evening. I did see him in a special benefit stage reading of All About Eve years before so I knew he would have been amazing. The question now was, would his understudy be?

With 45 minutes before the house would open for seating and 60 minutes before we would actually want to be seated, this was normally the time was we would retreat into one of the 400+ bars in the immediate area for pre-show drinks. Not this time. My Lent challenge had put the kibosh on one of my favorite traditions, but that’s when Tommy had a genius idea: “Why don’t we go over to Dave and Busters for a bit?” YES! Ski-ball? Arcade games? Air hockey?! This guy knows the way to my heart and how to pass the time. Together in 45 minutes, we won a total of 284 tickets and each won a round of Mario Kart. He won at air hockey, but I don’t want to talk about it.

Walking back across the street, I reminisced about my past job at that very theatre years before. When I first moved to NYC, I worked as a bartender for various Broadway theatres and, for the Wednesday matinee, was at American Airlines working as the coatcheck boy and official hearing impaired device hander-outer (Wednesday matinee audience are notorious for being the most difficult and the most deaf).

The usher walked us down to our seats that were in the orchestra and on the left side of the house. Row F, center two seats. Slightly to the side, but still great. I have sat or stood in pretty much every location in Broadway houses all over town and I have yet to be in a bad seat. Front row can be exciting, but back row is just as rewarding. It’s Broadway, take it in no matter where you sit! This time, our seats were so close we could see spots of water damage on the pre-show fly unit that was hiding the stage behind it. Hope they touch those up before opening night! The audience filed in and sat in their assigned seats. Before I had time to read through the entire program as I do for each show I see, the house lights began to dim and the “shut off your cell phones and shut your mouth” announcement came over the speakers.

As the orchestra finished their overture, in came train porters with their tap shoes on. From that point on everything got slightly magical as we boarded the Twentieth Century, a train running from Chicago to NYC which would split, spin, disappear and reappear, serving as the backdrop for most of the show. Tap dancing porters carried luggage for the beautiful dressed train riders (costumes by William Ivey Long) who’s costumes were a mix of bright colors and textures and screamed luxury. I recognized Mark Linn-Baker from my childhood for his role on Perfect Strangers. I wonder if actors ever get tired of being known for their most famous roles. Was that even his most famous role?

I almost couldn’t stand the anticipation as I waited for Miss Chenoweth to enter the stage. It was a good thing I wasn’t holding my breath because it took a good 15 minutes or so for her to come on stage. Running through the audience (which pretty much the entire cast did) there she was! In all her >5ft glory, you can’t take her eyes off her, even when dressed as a lowly piano player. I cannot begin to describe just how amazing Kristen Chenoweth is, not only in this show, but in everything she does. From her comedic timing to those pipes of hers, you can tell from the goosebumps on your skin that you are watching Broadway royalty. The understudy for Peter Gallagher was James Moye, and he did quite a good job filling those shoes. His comedic timing was great, and even though at moments you could see hints that this was not his everyday role, he stately held his own along side Chenoweth and against the ever stage-filling ham, Andy Karl, who, fresh off his lead role as Rocky in (you guessed it) ROCKY, was playing the current love interest to Lily (Chenoweth). Everyone was musically strong, and it was evident after the first act that only a person in tip-top vocal shape could have given their part the power that the score demanded.

Kristin Chenoweth and cast of On The Twentieth Century

Of course as most musicals go, the eventual love story is woven into the fabric of the book (script) that takes you through slapstick comedy scenes as the train symbolically makes its way to New York. In the end, you don’t care who ends up with who, as long as Chenoweth keeps singing, Andy Karl keeps flexing, and James Moye keeps scheming. The supporting ensemble who enters and exits fluidly through the surely tight fit of the train car on stage, comes out with a bang in the full stage dance number “Babette,” which also shows Lighting Designer Donald Holder’s work at its best.

I won’t tell you how it ends, but if you have ever seen a musical comedy before, I’m sure you can guess.

All in all, even with the absence of Peter Gallagher, this show was one that I will remember for quite some time. There are not many shows that I think “I would pay to see this one again” and yet, those were the first words out of my mouth at intermission.

mary.louise.wilson.solo_.20th.century — Tony Winner Mary Louise Wilson (Grey Gardens) as the “eccentric” Letitia Peabody Primrose

Live for fun, Spread Joy, Go to the Theatre!

Take a look at the promotional video of Peter Gallagher and Kristin Chenoweth singing “I’ve Got It All”. Could they be any more adorable??

The Countdown Begins!

February 27, 2015February 27, 2015 | mattkarr

It’s come to my attention that my world is full of countdowns, but this is hardly new. Events were anticipated by the number of years, months, weeks, minutes, milliseconds until they would happen. I would even use singular events as a way of counting down time. For example, at the end of the school year I would think to myself “the next time I have to step foot in this school I will have gone on vacation, competed in nationals (more to come on that in later posts I’m sure), enjoyed the neighbors pool, and built that fort in my backyard”. The thing about being a kid is that our years are divided into two parts: the school year and summer vacation, which seemed to make the entire year feel longer. To me, “New Years” was in September, and not something to celebrate. As an adult, my years have slowly started to become a 365 day cycle that begins with and ends with the calendar year. Each year after graduating, it got easier and easier to think outside the school calendar year. Now, six years later, the only hint of the education season comes via social media, when a flurry of graduation photos and announcements cover the entire month of May, or in the Fall, when dozens of “Sally’s first day of school” photos once again clog up my feed.

My year, and life, has become one giant countdown to an unknown end (and one that is hopefully not anytime soon). It’s only now, that I can truly appreciate and therefor take for granted how quickly time passes. It is only with the changing of seasons that trigger me to look back and think “Where in the hell did time go?” Seriously, I don’t know how my friends in Los Angeles do it. Do they think they are still living in 2008 because the weather never indicates the passing of time?

So here I sit, considering what countdowns I currently have ticking down in my head…..

Countdown to Summer

More specifically summer Fridays. That phenomenon in adult life where companies allow their employees to leave early each Friday between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Nothing is more liberating than that feeling of stealing your freedom back even if it’s only an hour. Since I no longer receive the gift of having 3 months off for summer vacation, I’ve got to take these victories as they come, no matter how small.

I’m ready for the warm weather that summer will bring. This winter has been a bear. I know that people complained last year about the amount of snow we received here in NYC, but at least with snow (which admittedly I love because I don’t have to drive in it), the chances of my office being closed dramatically increased. This winter, the snow seemed to have been rerouted and dumped right onto Boston, only delivering us New Yorkers with winds rivaling Chicago and no cancelled office days. I grew up in Michigan. I know lake effect all too well, so when anyone in NY complained about the cold, I always responded “It’s worse in Chicago!” This year, we were the new Chicago with the windchill regularly at or below zero, making treks to and from work have been nothing short of painful.

89 Days

Lent

This year I made the conscience decision to use the set dates of Lent to remove a few things from my life temporarily. Not things I don’t like, but things I do. As a kid, I saw my father gave up one of his favorite things each year during Lent. First it started off with Ice Cream, something he enjoyed on a regular basis. Then he gave up watching television so he could read more. He then expanded out to giving things up for a full year. I was always so fascinated and confused why someone would give up something that they actually liked.

So that was my challenge this year, but what would I decide to give up and what else would I focus on instead? First out of the gate, I was going to be sober. Now, being a Michigan State kid, my drinking habits have not only been perfected, but have changed casually since I graduated. Long gone was the cheap burnetts vodka (mostly because it’s not available in NYC) and I had moved on to the socially acceptable wine and whiskey affection. Drinking socially is part of the lifestyle of NYC and part of the lifestyle of Matthew S. Karr. Killing time before a show, at the beach (shhhh), after a long day of work, and while attending BBQs were just the tip of the iceberg for reasons to drink, and drink I did. A few glasses of wine here, a couple cocktails there, and suddenly its 5:30 and time to leave the office (I kid I kid), but could I go without it? I knew (or convinced myself) that I did not have a drinking problem, but it wasn’t because of my consumption that I wanted to ditch Grandpas cough medicine. I wanted to test my will power and see if I could, say, go out with a friend for their birthday at a bar and not drink. I also wanted to see what effect it would have on my body. When I realized I the majority of my soda consumption was fast food and beverage mixers, I threw it onto the list of “give ups” as well.

Also with my sobriety, I have given up any sort of body/mind altering substances from Motrin to meth. One of those may be harder for me to give up than the other. Hint: IT’S NOT METH (I watched breaking bad and value my teeth and skin far too much)

Next I decided to take a lesson from my Pops and decided to give up television (good thing I finished Breaking Bad). Now, I love television, so its no surprise that only a week into this challenge it’s killing me to not know whats happened on Scandal or to be able to dive into the new season of House Of Cards, but I noticed that I was following a similar daily pattern: Come home from work, cook dinner and catch up with Tom, eat the prepared dinner, and watch TV. Hours later, besides eating, I had accomplished very little, watched hours of television, and then headed to be later than I should. What could I do with that time instead if I were to use it differently? Perhaps I could clean up my apartment. Maybe start that t-shirt quilt project I had stacked in my closet for the last 6-mos. Even ramp up the start of this blog! The options are endless and with one book done and already into the next, I feel like I’m off to a great start.

34 Days

Wedding

I’m getting Married y’all!! There are few events in our lives that are as monumental as one’s wedding. For a long time in my life, I believed that marriage would not be in the cards for me. First, most if not all of my adolescence was spent scared and ashamed at the idea of being gay. I was always a lover of love, growing up with parents who were still together, and watching my siblings, one after the other, marry their amazing companions. When I finally came out of the closet, I still doubted that I would ever be married. Everywhere I turned I saw states like my own voting to keep marriage between one man and one woman, subsequently making me a second class citizen. At the time I didn’t understand the gravity of it, because, after all, I had no marriage prospects on the horizon. I had had only one boyfriend and when that relationship ended as our lives drifted further and further apart (geographically), I saw no one else who I could tolerate for more than a month, let alone a lifetime. Not to mention, you should probably have more than a tolerance for the person you choose to marry, so I continued in my personal journey alone, which led me next to New York City.

New York was the land of opportunity in more ways than one. The state honored marriage equality and legitimized me and those who had been ostracized from their home states. The true melting pot of America, NY was full of opportunity, hope, and a whole lot of homosexuals looking for happiness! I figured it would be only a short amount of time before I found my Mr. Right. Tick tock, the countdown had begun!

Well, it turns out that I was actually Mr. Wrong. Love did not come easily and I was finding it difficult to find guys that even had a sliver of the qualities I knew I was looking for in a partner. Was I too picky? Were my expectations too high? *TICK* *TOCK* On thing I did have on my side was patience. Countdowns to me were not about the time crunch, but more about the anticipation. I wasn’t desperate to find a boyfriend. I took my time and enjoyed each person that I met but had no romantic connection with. My guy was out there, and I just had to have faith that we would find each other…….eventually.

And then I did. As if almost effortlessly, Tommy came into my life. What started as a casual date, quickly grew into something more, and before I knew it, I was in love. Now after 2.5 years together, we are in the final stages of planning our wedding. Our legal, state recognized wedding that will be attended by our friends and family from a variety of era’s of our lives. Here, in the neighborhood in Brooklyn that we call home with our Brady Bunch style family that includes our cats Pinter and Zoey, and our dog Trixie, we will become government recognized partners in life. Husbands.

85 Days

It will be difficult to stop compartmentalizing my life into various countdowns, but what I need to do is make sure I’m taking the time to enjoy every single moment and not take a single one for granted, recognizing that every 24hrs is a countdown to the end of a day that we will not be able to relive again.

We should stop counting down, but instead, continually add up the moments that we love, live, and laugh together.

Live for Fun, and Spread Joy!