When you spend as much time on the streets as I do (har har), you meet some interesting people. Some of those people will ask you for money, or food, or money. You get used to it, and its all part of living the “city life”. Sometimes though, there are those individuals that you see over and over and over AND OVER again, constantly trying to hit you up.

The man who holds the record for the most times stopping me is without a doubt a gentleman I call The Baby Formula Guy (TBFG). I first met him when Tommy and I were looking for an apartment. We were looking in the same neighborhood that we currently lived in and were quickly walking, trying to catch a bus to another showing. He grabbed my attention (never make eye contact) and sped up to walk with us. He tried to introduce himself and began to tell us about his hungry baby that needed formula. He didn’t “want any money”, but if I would go to a supermarket or bodega and buy it for him, he would be oh so grateful. Well, the story was really convincing, but at that point, we were literally running for the bus and I didn’t have the time, or cash, to give this guy. As we separated, he called me out for being a cold hearted person who wouldn’t help a baby out.

The thought of that man’s accusations haunted me for the rest of the day. Was I a baby hater? Surely there was nothing suspect about a father needed formula for his child, so I was wrong to suspect anything, right? Oh sweet and unsuspecting Matt, you sentimental old fool!

It turns out, you can use baby formula for much more than nourishing babies. I found the two following scams are the most common:

1) They take the formula back to the store and sell it back, splitting the money with the store clerk (this stuff aint cheap!)

2) Use the formula to cut heroine. Seriously, that’s the second option.

I was so happy that I wasn’t a baby killer, but also pissed that this man had actually made me feel that I might actually be one, just to get some money off of me.

If this guy had approached once, fine. However, this dude stopped me at least another 20 times over the course of the next year, many times when I was out walking with Trixie. Sometimes he was asking again for Baby Formula, other times it was a sandwich, and other times he just straight up wanted cash. I knew by this point I was being played.

One time he asked for baby formula but was carrying two cigarettes and a cell phone. I told him that if he went to the bodega, they would buy those cigarettes from him, so he could have the money to buy the baby formula. He didn’t like that I would question his purchases while he asked for my money, so I was quickly on my way when he turned angry. I always feel safer with Trixie at the end of the leash. Not because she is protective, but because she LOOKS protective.

The funny part is that every time the guy stopped me, he would have absolutely no idea who I was. He was now trying to hit me up for money at least 4 times a month, but never showed the slightest sign of recognition. I suspect that it was because of drugs he may have been on. It was only this past month when he stopped me to ask me for money and then followed up with “You’re the guy that wears colorful shorts in the summer aren’t you?” But even then, he wasn’t even sure.

Who said nobody notices what you wear?? I took that as a compliment!

I could never bring myself to give him money. At some point I thought perhaps his persistence should be rewarded, but I stopped myself. This man was obviously being deceitful, and that sort of behavior should not be rewarded when there are so many causes proven to be doing good things with your donations.

One day, but not anytime soon, I will be able to keep myself from shuddering when I hear the simple statement: “Can I ask you a question?”.

Live for Fun, Spread Joy, Be Smart with Your Money!