30 DAYS OF NYC MEMORIES – DAY 5: THE BABY FORMULA GUY

When you spend as much time on the streets as I do (har har), you meet some interesting people. Some of those people will ask you for money, or food, or money. You get used to it, and its all part of living the “city life”. Sometimes though, there are those individuals that you see over and over and over AND OVER again, constantly trying to hit you up.

The man who holds the record for the most times stopping me is without a doubt a gentleman I call The Baby Formula Guy (TBFG). I first met him when Tommy and I were looking for an apartment. We were looking in the same neighborhood that we currently lived in and were quickly walking, trying to catch a bus to another showing. He grabbed my attention (never make eye contact) and sped up to walk with us. He tried to introduce himself and began to tell us about his hungry baby that needed formula. He didn’t “want any money”, but if I would go to a supermarket or bodega and buy it for him, he would be oh so grateful. Well, the story was really convincing, but at that point, we were literally running for the bus and I didn’t have the time, or cash, to give this guy. As we separated, he called me out for being a cold hearted person who wouldn’t help a baby out.

Baby hater

The thought of that man’s accusations haunted me for the rest of the day. Was I a baby hater? Surely there was nothing suspect about a father needed formula for his child, so I was wrong to suspect anything, right? Oh sweet and unsuspecting Matt, you sentimental old fool!

It turns out, you can use baby formula for much more than nourishing babies. I found the two following scams are the most common:

1) They take the formula back to the store and sell it back, splitting the money with the store clerk (this stuff aint cheap!)

2) Use the formula to cut heroine. Seriously, that’s the second option.

I was so happy that I wasn’t a baby killer, but also pissed that this man had actually made me feel that I might actually be one, just to get some money off of me.

If this guy had approached once, fine. However, this dude stopped me at least another 20 times over the course of the next year, many times when I was out walking with Trixie. Sometimes he was asking again for Baby Formula, other times it was a sandwich, and other times he just straight up wanted cash. I knew by this point I was being played.

One time he asked for baby formula but was carrying two cigarettes and a cell phone. I told him that if he went to the bodega, they would buy those cigarettes from him, so he could have the money to buy the baby formula. He didn’t like that I would question his purchases while he asked for my money, so I was quickly on my way when he turned angry. I always feel safer with Trixie at the end of the leash. Not because she is protective, but because she LOOKS protective.

The funny part is that every time the guy stopped me, he would have absolutely no idea who I was. He was now trying to hit me up for money at least 4 times a month, but never showed the slightest sign of recognition. I suspect that it was because of drugs he may have been on. It was only this past month when he stopped me to ask me for money and then followed up with “You’re the guy that wears colorful shorts in the summer aren’t you?” But even then, he wasn’t even sure.

Who said nobody notices what you wear?? I took that as a compliment!

I could never bring myself to give him money. At some point I thought perhaps his persistence should be rewarded, but I stopped myself. This man was obviously being deceitful, and that sort of behavior should not be rewarded when there are so many causes proven to be doing good things with your donations.

One day, but not anytime soon, I will be able to keep myself from shuddering when I hear the simple statement: “Can I ask you a question?”.

Live for Fun, Spread Joy, Be Smart with Your Money!

30 Days of NYC Memories – Day 1: Roof Top Parties

30 days from today will be my last day in NYC. It has been a roller coaster of sheer craziness and awesomeness over these last seven years, and showing up in the city in August of 2008, I could not have been prepared for the experiences that I would accumulate. The people I have met, the jobs that I’ve worked, and the activities that I’ve done will stay with me forever.

The next month will quite possibly be the busiest of my life. Even before I get in that moving truck and head south, I’ll be wrapping up and leaving the job I have known for the last 3 years, officially starting my 31st year of life on this earth, and, most excitedly, getting married to the man who stole my heart (call the cops!).

But before I go, I’m going to take each day and share a photo and memory of my time in this one-of-a-kind city.

Memories: ROOF TOP PARTIES

Only in New York could climbing up 5+ flights of stairs to access a rooftop be considered a privilege but with limited apartment space, no backyard, and and sometimes killer views, many parties ended (and started) high above the streets. The first month I lived in NYC we threw a birthday part for our roommates and hauled a full keg up to the roof. The party epic and the friends new, it set off what would be a wild ride and many rooftop gatherings over the years to come.

MAtt Amory Roof Top Party
Rooftop Party with Matt and Amory
Carrie Rooftop Bday
Carries B-Day Celebration in Chelsea
Matt and Bridget Roof Time
Brdget and Matt have a rooftop heart to heart

Live for Fun, Spread Joy, Party (safely!) on Rooftops!

Book Review-The Andy Cohen Diaries

One of the best compliments I have ever received was when a stranger at a party told me that I was the “Brooklyn version of Andy Cohen”, because Andy seemed to be everything that I aspired to be. Well, I probably should have read this book before I took that as a high compliment.

I kid! I kid!

After his first book Most Talkative: Stories From The Front Lines Of Pop Culture, Cohen set out to record and share his daily activities over the course of a year. Full disclosure: I did not read his first book. In fact, and this is both honest and embarrassing (at least for my friends who work in publishing), I don’t ready many books at all. Trust me, I know I am missing out, but I also know that I most likely have gone my entire life without being diagnosed with dyslexia, making reading unenjoyable. I’d read a sentence, thinking it said one thing, only to re-read it and realized it said something completely different. I was able to find reading success in books like the Harry Potter series, which were obviously written for a children’s reading level, but stayed away from those written works that had more “meat and potatoes” to them. AKA: intellectual books, literary books, and autobiographies. Audio books were my best friend for a while, but lately I found my daily commute was spent listening to the Taylor Swift album for the umpteenth time (that Out Of The Woods song is my jam!).

Sometimes I think I am a masochist. I know that I don’t like something, but I will try and try again to change my opinion. Blue cheese is one of those things. No matter how much I know I hate it, I’ll stand in line at Chop’t and say “Ah, why don’t you throw some blue cheese in there”. Every. Single. Time. I don’t know if it’s the anxiety (which is another problem of mine) of having to choose add-ins on the spot, but I instantly regret it the moment I take that first bite. Unfortunately, reading is on that list with Blue Cheese. I try it, I hate it, and its a few months before I foolishly try it again. On one of my most recent attempts I decided to give the book Bossy Pants by Tina Fey a try. Eureka! Tina brought me back from the dark side of illiteracy. I could read adult books and actually enjoy them!

So this past Christmas when Tommy (an avid reader) gave me the gift of Andy’s new book, I was eager to dive in and learn more about this man who had worked his way up in the television industry (an industry I would love to work in) and became a talk show host (a job I had always dreamed of). In hindsight (which is always 20/20) I maybe should have read his first book to learn a little more of the back story of the man who’s daily journal I was about to read. Alas, I cracked open the beautifully illustrated cover and started my literary voyerism into Andy’s life.

Right off the bat in the book’s introduction, Andy tells us that he almost called the book “The Diary of a Name-Dropper”, and name drop he does. In fact, Andy drops celebrity names so often and effortlessly, I created an imaginary clown in my head to follow behind and pick them up, much like the ones that march in parades to clean up after horses. I didn’t get through the first page, hell, the first paragraph before Diane Von Furstenburg came up. Send in the clowns and cue my jealousy, I’m in for a bumpy ride!

Day after day I relived his life bouncing from New York, to Utah, to St. Louis (his hometown), back to New York, only to jaunt to LA and then back before a trip to Sag Harbor. The only similar events events from day to day are his live talk show and his massages. This man gets more rub downs than a classic car! Doesn’t matter where in the world he is, he has a masseuse on call. This is the first of many times during reading this book that I realize I’m a basic bitch. I have never had a professional massage although I have been a strong advocate that they should be a weekly perk of being an Equity member. I have however, gifted massages to those I love, but never did it cross my mind that people would actually come to your house to deliver such services. Is it cheaper because they don’t have to pay rent on a storefront? He never discloses costs of his escapades which is probably better for my sanity.

One of the great things about this book is when it takes place within the story of this life. He is about to transition from his “day job” at Bravo and embark on new projects both on and off screen and he is seriously thinking about getting a dog (a single gay man’s best friend). So many times people in this city want things to come fast and easy (like their dinner, or their dates), but you can tell through the pages of this book that Andy has worked his ass off for all of the success that he now is getting to enjoy.

So I read. Day after day. Season after season. Hearing bits of backstage drama from different housewives franchises (who knew the husbands were so demanding?!), traveling with him on vacation with mega celeb friends like Kelli Rippa and Anderson Cooper, and learning about his love (and skill) for baseball. There are moments you feel you can relate to him completely, like when he feels guilty about a weekend of binge eating on vacation or not being invited to a party (granted it is the Vanity Fair Oscar party but still). Then there are moments your two worlds couldn’t feel any further apart, like when he can’t get his motivation up to design his new super duplex apartment and you live in a studio apartment you have to cross two rivers to get to. I’m also pretty sure celebrities just live outside the front of his building. Ahh, to live in the West Village!

When he starts to talk about his close friendship with the late Natasha Richardson, you feel the pain of her loss through his words. He also talks about a future project with Joan Rivers, who by this point had passed. How would he takes the news? I read on. I flipped ahead to the end of the book just to see what the last dated entry would be. Would the book end before she passed?

As I continued through the book, I have to admit that about 3/4 through I started to become exhausted by it. Day after day, city after city, party after party, it all seemed to get to be a little too much and blur together. I’m sure that as he was living it, it was absolutely amazing, and if it was my life I would bathe in every moment and in every body of clear blue water that crossed my path, but as a reader, I found that my attention span was starting to wane. I wouldn’t dare put it down without finishing, but I realized that my reading environment was a stark contrast to what was happening in his life and that I was starting to feel slightly resentful. Daily I would read on the M train from Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn where I lived, into Manhattan for work and then back in the evening. While I read about his fabulous times in Sag Harbor complete with private helicopter rides that he had received in one of his many “gift bags” (along with hundreds of pairs of Beats by Dre headphones I can’t begin to afford), there were people right in front of me begging for money and food for their family while I was squeezed into an overcrowded subway car. Of course, it is not fair to hold him accountable for the plight of poor New York, but still, it was hard to read one experience and witness another. I’m sure he does, but I don’t believe he ever once mentioned taking the subway.

All in all, I found this book to be somewhat of an inspiration. After six years in this town, I have had my ups and downs, made strong friendships, and have worked my tail off just to make ends meet. He showed me that hard work and dedication do pay off, that sense of humor can be one of the most attractive qualities of a person, and even a famous person like Andy can “fan girl” out at the sight of Madonna and then text Cher from vacation. So I take what I learned from his honesty and story telling and I move forward down my own path. As his friend Diane von Furstenburg said “I didn’t always know what I wanted to do, but I knew who I wanted to be” and I want to be the Brooklyn version of Matt Karr, but I wouldn’t mind borrowing a couple of chapters from Andy’s life.

Live for fun, Spread Joy, and follow Wacha the dog on Twitter! @therealwacha